No, I am not lazy. Not, at least, in the way you are used to. And, no, I’m not obsessed with anything. I have a normal amount of interest in all subjects. I’m just an average guy, dude. An average guy with an online literary magazine which I occasionally neglect. Sure, we’ve got a whole team here to help me out, but they’re a rambunctious and unpredictable sort with no regard for the “rules”, rules being deadlines and mathematical certainties, but, ce la vie, we get by. I just don’t want anyone thinking I’m lazy, even though the page number count is light and the content is like Marco Polo circa 1275. But, no, absolutely not lazy. More like a ferocious, albeit willfully caged, animal. 

I also want to take a moment, before we begin, to thank everyone for all the love and support we received after the release of our raunchy and informative previous issue. Thank you, everyone. Everyone. We will continue to serve the sexy population for years to come. EVERYONE.  For now, onward and upward to a more relaxed and equally awesome edition, featuring ferrets both by name and by species, Xylophone enthusiasts, bathtub enthusiasts, golf balls, and the Domino’s menu reimagined to be addicted to cigarettes. Enjoy! And enjoy the weather, wherever you are! Now, let’s bounce. 

– Ed.