Yes, once again, mistakes were made. This issue was supposed to come out yesterday. It was supposed to be the 22nd issue appearing on the 22nd day of January in the year 2022. It was supposed to be a celebration of sorts. All of these things were supposed to happen. But this is what’s happening. We are the people we are, waywardly dawdling through the improbable time slowly grown by our decisions, in a place that for no one is the place they most want to be. Deal with it, sports fans. Your team will lose, your lit mags will come out late, there will always be hotties hotter than you that have no idea that you’re even real. Find solace in these pages, and. . . 

Get amped, Lit fans! It’s time for the most anticipated and least plagiarized issue of this well regarded literary hootenanny: THE SWIMSUIT EDITION! That’s right, we kidnapped the entire team at Sports Illustrated, bound and gagged them, stuffed them in the linen closet, and went to work stealing their idea. Not just stealing it, making it better. Making it wise and helpful and not just for pubescent boys hiding in the bathroom. This is a Swimsuit Edition for the working man, for the single mother, for the down-on-their-luck family who can’t bear to do another beach day. This issue is for you, my friends, my family, my fellow Public Transportation aficionados. Go get your swimsuit, put it on, and settle in for this rip roaring edition of Taint Dark Snit Snag. 

All writings hereto held within come from our staff swimsuit expert and local Italian, Gianni Van Tooty. He will teach you how to look good in your swimsuit. His expertise and enthusiasm for the subject know no over the lines. I am sure you will all learn a lot from him. 

Here we go! Swimsuit Edition #1! Get after it, slobs!

– Ed.